As I grow wiser...a glimpse within.

365 Days More Around the Sun...

When I was a teenager, I often sat in front of a mirror and had the same thought:

"Here I am—flesh and blood, a human... How weird. Where do these thoughts come from?"

Somehow, I felt that being an entity capable of manifesting physically, yet experiencing thoughts and feelings that could never be seen, was a fascinating case study. I remember my mom telling me that if I kept doing that, I was going to end up being the kind of mentally unstable person who needed to be institutionalized.

My life has not been easy, but I have been fortunate. Sometimes I feel like I have won every single 50/50 in this gacha game called life—even the ones I thought I had lost.

So much has changed, and at the same time, so much has remained the same.

Despite the gallons of evil I have found in the world, somehow I still believe in love—in the good within people. I have looked death right in the eyes, and yet every day, life keeps choosing me, and I keep choosing life.

Weird, no?

Tomorrow there will be cake, happiness, but also nostalgia and, why not, sadness—because life is a cocktail of all those things.

These last 365 days around the Sun have been gentle enough to celebrate. Love and care have shown up in so many ways. Goodbyes have been scarce (may they continue that way).

If I had to choose one highlight of these past twelve months, it would be my streaming community.

It may sound odd considering I am a mother, a wife, a friend, and part of a family in the "real world." But when we are so many things to so many people, sometimes we simply need a place where we can just be ourselves. My streaming community—as small as it is—gives me exactly that.

Sometimes I smile for no reason because I remember a joke or the way someone says something. Other times, I spend hours reading about horse breeds simply because someone in my community creates OCs and loves horses. Sometimes I find myself rereading the long messages of a friend I met through my streams—a beautiful mix of Genshin lore and life itself.

Other times, we're chanting a blessing for my Cookie Run: Kingdom pulls, and somehow the blessing from that one person on YouTube works every single time.

The only way I can explain it is this: this small community is filled with everything that is worth saving and fighting for in this world.

It's like finishing a drawing. You think it's complete, but then you add the shading and the background, and suddenly it transforms from a good drawing into a piece of art.

That's what this little community we have built together feels like.

Sometimes I feel sad or unmotivated, and somehow they pull me into this magical world of gacha conversations, lore theories, shared memories, and laughter.

What I love the most is that everyone is so wonderfully unique. I could write an entire book about the little traits that make each person I've met unforgettable. But most importantly, everyone shows up exactly as they are. Some are quiet. Some are loud. Some have been there every day for 190 days in a row. Others appear once every couple of weeks.

But they all arrive wearing their uniqueness proudly.

I could bore you to death with the typical adult milestones society tells us are important—and to some extent, they are.

But today, I choose to talk about a tribe.

About a community being born.

I want to remember this particular highlight because it has given me so much while asking for so little. Kindness. Care. Presence.

As I celebrate one more year around the Sun, I choose to remember the lessons—the things light enough to carry when my physical arms no longer respond to the laws of physics.

In the midst of it all, preserve the human side of your heart.

Be gentle.

Be kind.

Be strong.

Be fearless.

Show yourself as you are. Fix the things that need fixing. Embrace every shade of every color in the rainbow, because living life to its fullest requires much more than black and white.

The sunset of our lives will come one day, unannounced. It will not wait for us to finish our conversations, accomplish our dreams, or wrap everything up neatly.

May that be your reminder to live humbly.

So that when you finally become stardust once again, you can whisper to the universe the stories that made you—stories soaked in love, kindness, and care.

And maybe...

just maybe...

one day another human will be born from that same stardust, carrying so much goodness that there will be no room left for evil.

— Noona